Efforts of sorrow

In the begining was the light.

in my childhood, my dreams weren't too clear

But my nails.. OH! my nails

the dream of a leopard was not but been in jungle

and then the change becomes true awaiting for me in the next travel

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At the very momment I arrive, my passions for freedom became ashes

Burnt by social cage in infinite ways of hurt and fears

And then my actual friends and enemies became one or - I don't exactly know-many.

The storm and the flood I watched so inspired

But it wasn't easy to me to say but just to incarnate

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Further then comes the - I don't know if it was meant to be haunted by me or it was haunted before-

Haunted place

As the time pass my new fears were mixed with all the new "freedom"

-actuly it wasn't freedom cause I've changed-

and whatever remains, was the stigma that I've never been able to judge - or assume that it was mine or not-

discovering all the socials things I solified, with the powers of nature - that I fully understand- a new part of me.And it comes to fuse my core with the caos of the storm and the order of society

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Placing myself in top of all things, questioning all the matters of all things

I began the travel to the deep madness

But something happened to my beeing.

Something that I could not bring to myself.

About this thing, I've tried to change!

I don't realy know the name of this thing

some call it Love

But in my world it never had a name

...whatever!!!!

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After all this things my blood began to runs colder as the "Love" was fading

Curse or not I didn't realy choose it to came to me.

Maybe it was just a natural order to this happen

I knew I was pretty but, all that suffering after all?

Could I bring to myself some balace?

unfortunely NO!

what was spinning inside of me before, started again but faster than before

I've became smarter so the spinning too

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The cuts began to hurt beyond my mind

and the chaos chooses me.

In response, I've gown a grater pathern of social behavior

but while it was happening, my body sank in a sea without a shore

the shards of my mind were scattered and the melancholy took it's place

I knew it would last longer than I could count

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Some come to help but the first ones were the ones who partialy doomed me

But the others were hurted so deeply that they choose to desapear

But not in my world... in my world they only sleep

The time to choose came to me as the infernal question

I would tell about it, but until nowdays remembering that question stings me so deeply!

it doesn't matter anymore!

I have made my choice so I'm alive

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Now oscilating between deep black and brightest withe

My body changed so much and my mind became so dizzy

I was neither right and wrong

Now I don't realy know who I am 

But it doesn't botter me anymore

I don't realy need to know

Placing doubts are my best hobby

with theories and knowledges

new ideas to decive and recruit

friends and enemies puppets and new born minds

Thats me the THE DEADLY EQUILIBRIST!

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I require your attention for the sake of you own mind

don't approach or you shall be out of line!!!