The (in)sane Asylum

22, march, 2020 - Daylight

Let me remember when did I felt like this... Fine! It was a thousand years ago, freaking fell alone, indeed was I. Like reality itself was denying my birthright... mostly like mud waves keeping my weeping dripping, my suffocating eyes unable to scream. At least, my voice to turn things bright.

My edeavours of you beeing around are now dust, like in those old days.

It's another day caged again for devious reasons... again!

Ready or not I'm couting that you feel the same... again I know it's not the same.

I rely in a silent, dumb, crazy, innocent, nuts hope you'll wish for me as I wish for you!

I hope you realize that my friend! How I like you, and how I will miss you!
I've gotta go for sometime cause I am in pain. I'm sorry I couldn't take it.

I'm Crazy maybe on falling for you so many times.
I want you to be happy and I hope you feel the same about me.
I wish us to be more than friends, and I can't just think otherwise.

Take care in this hard times.
I can't stand anymore beeing alone with you, I do my best to not break your trust in me
Sometimes I think: "I wish you punch me in the face so I can feel that I'm real".

I have so many good memories about us, about your dreams, fates...

Now I've gotta go!
Some tears are falling
But now this isn't the end I hope!

When I get better I wish we could be alone again without suffer...


(just tell me you don't fell the same and I'll know that everything written isn't in vain)

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING MY DIMY EYED WARLOCK.

Eccos d'Inferno

Closing finestre

Here I go again!

"Disapointed but not impressed!"

I'm right here to crave these words on myself... my never healed broken heart drove me crazy again!
In sanity I'm coming back to teenages feelings. I'm back to hold my empty heart deep in me! Where even I will not find it.

I'm here to take me away from troubles I bring to myself, when I try to be human and nobody cares!
Unfortunelly they broke me, and now I lost all hope I should have!

And if I fall again, those words are here to pretend to be a warning to myself!
Now, this bleeding is about not today! Is about me! 29 years sinking slowly!

I do not hope anymore to wake with someone! I know pain will lead me to grave as I walk alone in this world!

Sadly I say goodbye to humans at all!

Now and on, there will be just me and myself!

You all will hurt me in different ways, except for passion or love!
Passion and love died again for me today!

Circle is begining again! I will be an thornfull and empty three! Dead inside and without a single root.

That was the last chance I gave to myself....

That was the last chance I swore upon the nightgown under the moonbeam!

That was the last thing I've intertwined myself

Let reality freeze me, let the schedule make me a cog!

I'm prepared to lay down and find stars alone!

I'm ready to never cry for love again!

I must go! Returning more often to here!

To write silent sorrows!

To dream a world without me!

Take my missing, as part of my unballace!

Warm up my insanity alone...

And die unpeaced!

What do lasts for me?

"I don't know..." I wish I say those words!

But every time I look over my little well, he rises with his pretty smile...

Sometimes I wish we meet in a deeper way

I have a Feeling that you're always watching over me, but you're not willing for me as I desire you.

Everything about you makes me feel better, but moments later, you shatter my mind and break my bones till suddenly trow it all into the storm.

I beg for heaven or hell take me away from this thrilling life!

Losing memories would be a nice choice!

But I do not Own myself...

There are some in my life.

But YOU.... FUCK! You make me think of becoming numb in some asylum.

Far from my own... Closer to Gods and Devils.

I... the fool who waits for you to become one with me. The one who dream about your eyes.

I... who forget the laws of biology, psique and social behaviour; when you turn to me for a simple question.

So I wonder if in those moments you are telling me to wait, or just that we'll be only friends.

Today I hate beeing your friend!

Gods and Devils knows my melancholy when you say with other word that my tastes are disposeable and awful.

I shad a inner tear everytime I meet you with your girl!

Please... take me... someone!!!

NO ONE... no one will ever pick me up for a ride to blank lands, where I would erease you. Showering all my memories of you under a true love whaterfall.

And I would lose myself into another's arms to begin again.

Sincerly, I can't bare reality...
It hurts deep and I'm afraid to lose myself... Becoming numb forever!
Or maybe this is the salvation
The way to the other world's door!

I'm dieyng... So I hold the nurse's hand at every sunset and dawn.
Until my memories of you passes me by... slowly...

So scared to be alone...
So afraid to realise, that I'm already
All by myself inside this darkwell...
Drinking falling tears...
And always... always... thirsty for love.

Travel to deep sea

"A thousand of brokenhearted sirens comes to me in the darkdeep sea to know how to breath and why sirens have tears..."

I can't find light enough to see what I have become
Tides change to me in fear
God don't have enough blesses to reach me

In silence I rest
Among their ashes I dream
Dark circle and nest
My home is thee

Once in a moon beam, the past lied to me in her tear
Shad trought the waters, brought by the sea around me
No one will shine again here
And I will sing my fate to thee

In silence I rest
Among their ashes I dream
Dark circle and nest
My home is thee

Man's tears may dry trought the clouds
And they will cry in the sea
So salty the waters are to me
Our hearts are filled with thee

In silence I rest
Among their ashes I dream 
Dark circle and nest
My home is thee

"Cry above me, I'm sending dark waves to comfort you...
listen to the wind from beyond the horizon, my wisdom will take you away
wishing the darkness wrap you close to me, inside thee circle in ashes and in ephemeral deep sea!"

Ordinário sápiens

Vérdi Vétre Vendeta!

É um vilarejo ordinário com pessoas ordinárias trabalhando suas vidas e crescendo seus filhos.

Essa é Vetrénis um passo de cada vez, a felicidade exultada nas saudações matinais! Há nela um governo, ordem e poucas desordens. Desordens escondidas por inocências eloquentes e importantes para seu equilíbrio.

Em Vetrénis, um jovem especialmente luminoso em sua família aguarda o falecimento do pai para adentrar às responsabilidades comunais.

Possuindo 27 invernos completos entende ignorantemente sua situação e certezas imaturas calam mistérios... e que inconvenientes mistérios.

Deslizando por entre mistérios vagam todos em Vetrénis... sem se importar, pois a paz reina "e o que mais podem desejar?". 

Luchen, o jovem próspero, brevemente irá se unir a Ophelia, uma integra moça com os mesmos invernos, vigilante dos deveres de uma mulher, saudosamente exemplar diante da sociedade e apoio básico para Luchen. 

Com os ventos e o florescer chegando, assim caiu a ultima pétala do tempo de seu pai. A ultima flor a morrer na primavera e o florescer de Luchen. Quatro luas se passaram até os votos de união serem proferidos em alta voz; e a festa iluminada pelo sol se estendeu até a alta lua cheia daquele dia.

Felizes! Ophelia deixou sua família para trás e abraçou Luchen como quando alguém que se refestela de prazer ao sentir-se útil em seu próprio destino. Luchen embriagado de tristeza pela partida de seu pai e feliz por sua nova vida, não se permite reluzir trevas ou luz.

Então Ophelia, indaga:

- Dize-me como estás senhor! Compartilhe seu fado ou vinho comigo! Tenho sede de teus pensamentos e fome de teus agouros. Grite em minha presença, pois sei que não somos feitos de paz completa!

Sem assombro, mas de expressão a suplantar os anseios de Ophelia ele diz:

- Somos paz! Para efeito de um senhor como eu, somos paz! Não há o que proferir contra algo natural e inevitável!... A certeza de algo melhor me conforta e combate minha insolência em desejar que meu pai permaneça perene entre nós, isso seria até desvirtuoso e infame.

I wish...

I wish...

I wish I was a dart flying to some target

I wish I was the perfume floating over your skin

I wish I was your memories of god

I wish I was the TV light watching as you sleep

I wish I couldn't remember the taste of your thoughts

I wish your veins intertwined with mine

I wish your heart under my feet

I wish I've broken your heart

I wish we could rest in peace

I wish my world wasn't yours

I wish my goosebumps weren't about your voice

I wish my lonelyness could mend my heart

I wish my thirst weren't of your lips

I wish our shadows cross under a moonbeam

I wish you didn't have such power around me

I wish one day we could be more than lonely walkers

I wish my death carry some meaning to you

I wish you'd miss my brain and lips

I wish I never thought of changing because of you

I wish you open your door once and forever

I wish I'd knew the heat of our bed

I wish lay on your lap for a restful nap

I wish we could dream together

I wish we could fight life side by side

I wish my darkness meet yours

I wish you to know the truth

I wish open myself to you

I wish cry as our parents die one by one

I wish time would be our fuel

I wish hold your body and toutch your soul

I wish I could see your eyes and beyond

I wish none of us could ever be apart
I wish you come to cease the burning flames of solitude
I wish I could reach some colored wire while I fall burning
I wish your skin doesn't shine as bright as the stars
I wish we make a pact
I wish you dream about me tonight
I wish you wake up wanting me
I wish...
I wish...
I wish...
I wish I longing  no more...
For you

Petals and razors (single)

Petals and razors

Waking up helpless
Choked up with my nightmares
Certainly and badly tortured... faceless
To find my thoughs saying good bye

And everything is broken
colors makes no sense
I feel empty bottles with lovely labels

I'm the one who cares no more
Anymore...
I'm the one who calls your name no more
Anymore...
I'm the one who realise that
Petals and razors are always for you

Reflection is a bleeding truth
That reality makes it too
For me who is used to bleed
Imaginary is my path to breath

And everything is broken
Colors makes no sense ... anymore
I feel empty bottles with disturbing labels

For the letter I'm writing
God and Satan sink in our red lake
Of petals and razors
With you
And the only one who left is
The Scar of my lonely
And Melacholic
Silence...